Monday, September 23, 2013

Writing Project 2 (Narative) Revisi 2


Glowie

    
Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived with her step mother and two step sisters in a big house, small town of forest. Her named Glowie. Glowie was a beautiful girl than her two step sisters. Glowie had long brown hair. Her hair was very long. When she was singing  nice song, her hair will shine. Glowie was worked in a cafe as a singer when she was leaved.

     Glowie's step mother and her step sisters were bad people. they made Glowie suffered in her own house. Her step mother forced Glowie to do all the house chores. Her step sisters weren't allowed Glowie to use her nice dresses and doll up.

     One day, royal envoy came to Glowie's house for announcing that the Kingdom will hold a party for their Prince. All of girls in the town had to come to the party. When Glowie heard that, she was very happy. But, her two step sisters and her step mother baned her to go anywhere the night.

     At the night, Glowie was cried because she wanted to go to the party, but she couldn't. When Glowie was cried, a fairy came to her. Then, the fairy made her became a beautiful girl with nice hair. the fairy told to Glowie that she had to come back at midnight because the magic would lose after the midnight. Glowie went to the party with beautiful blue dress. All people looked at to her. After that, The Prince asked Glowie to dance together. When they were dancing, they didn't realize the time was running to midnight. Glowie was surprised and ran to come back to her house before her step mother and her step sisters arrived. But,The Prince was hold Glowie's hair and got part of her hair.

     On the next day, royal envoy came again to Glowie's house to find who has the glow's hair. When Glowie was singing, her step mother blocked her in room.So, the royal envoy didn't find the own of glow's hair. And they leaved. In the noon, Glowie had a showed in a cafe and when she was singing, her hair was shining. The royal envoy that were being there, they looked at Glowie. Then they approached Glowie and showed haircut of Glowie. The royal envoy found the own of glow hair.

     Finally, Glowie and The Prince were married. Glowie's step mother and her step sisters were became a housekeeper and maid in Glowie's house. Glowie and the Prince were lived happily ever after.

1 comment:

  1. In the first line word "step mother" should be stepmother, "step sisters" should be stepsisters.
    Glowie had long brown hair. Her hair was very long. It should be "Glowie had very long and brown hair.
    Be careful with the using of capital letters and punctuation.
    That's all from me.
    *keep writing*

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